I’ve been there too: I’ve been hyper-generous. Giving, giving, and giving—without boundaries, without taking care of myself, without respecting my own time—because the needs of my clients always came first.
After all, my job is to help them transform their pain. How could I deny them a hand, guidance, or help when they needed it?
And let’s not even talk about the fear of them being deeply offended if I ever said no! I felt I had to be available at all times, in every place.
I gave too much time, held extra-long sessions, gave when I didn’t want to because I was tired, or because being there for others meant missing family gatherings… I was a serial giver.
It took me years to build the inner strength to set boundaries—confidently, clearly, and with kindness. Yes, sometimes I set them too late, from a place of anger. Or I’d set them and then feel like the worst person ever, or I’d set them and couldn’t hold onto them—they’d fade away sooner or later.
Today, “healthy boundaries” and “giving in a balanced, sustainable way” are part of what I teach.
To accompany others in their healing process without breaking ourselves along the way. To be there for others because we’ve learned to be there for ourselves. Setting healthy boundaries to first take care of our own needs, and then attend to the needs of others.
And yes, every now and then, I still give too much—until I “can’t give anymore.” But I bring myself back to my center, faster each time. Restoring balance with more awareness, every time.
As Facilitators, taking care of ourselves is important so that our help and our giving remain sustainable over time.
If you’re a natural caregiver, “love thy neighbor” is already your motto.
In the Deep Healing Facilitators Training, I teach you the dimension of “as you love yourself,” so that love for others is balanced with self-love.
